Southern boy


 I grew up in the south but I don’t miss it because people weren’t very nice to me in the south by and large but I will take this moment to be positive and kind and tell you what I miss about the south which includes blue jean shorts and tank tops and bare feet and the beaches of Florida and tiki huts on those beaches where you drink beer from pitchers and eat fried foods out of cardboard boats and there’s no air-conditioning but you’re under the shady awning of tiki straw with your friends who might be smoking cigarettes in bikinis and board shorts and crop tops and flip-flops and beaded sandals and they’re not wearing much make-up and you’re listening to a local musician playing guitar and singing Margaritaville or Brown Eyed Girl but I also miss not caring about anything ever except hanging out with your friends and shooting the shit and coming up with stupid slang and saying things like how you just love Tracy to death but she’s a hard pill to swallow and I miss the yellow sun coming into your orange kitchen window with its shiny sundrops splashing across the green plants in your windowsill and I miss not caring about anything which I may have already mentioned and I miss running shoeless across green grass in fields around town where you go get high and throw Frisbee with your friends and dogs and you try not to step in dog shit and I miss some other stuff probably but that’s all that comes to mind right now and I’m going to give myself a little pat on the back for being positive about the south today because it is very easy for me to think about all the bad stuff but I’m gonna tell you something which is I am gonna just sit here for a second and close my eyes and picture me and my friends and lovers at a bar in a tiki hut and I can hear the waves of the water and I can hear when people on the sand hit their volleyball with the palms of their hands and I can hear the terrible comforting music and the drunk strangers who are almost naked and looking to score and I might be one of those people